Quiet

I am currently enjoying some stillness in the house, the only sound is the radio blaring... to me this is fantastic quiet. The kids are in daycare and David is out of the house briefly. It is a rare moment to have this moment in time for myself. A chance to reflect, to do some internal talking to build up my strength again.

So much has been happening lately, I feel like there are days when I am so stressed that every muscle in my body is tense... why cant we all have a masseuse live with us?

We are heading to the Land of the Long White Cloud (NZ) on Sunday which is fantastic. I am looking forward to having some family time away from the house and share new experiences with each other. One of my fears though is the plane trip there which involves having one of the babies on my lap the whole way... god I hope that it is safe for them, with me at this weight. I hope that the plane isnt full and there is a spare seat between us. I am not looking forward to people looking me up and down as they do when I am on the plane, especially as I have been hearing on the radio all the discussions around how fat people on planes should be forced to pay for 2 seats... apparently other people shouldnt feel uncomfortable next to us just because we have an eating issue. Brilliant. Oh well, not much I can do about peoples opinions, and I just need to block out the looks and sniggers, as I have done my whole life. God, I have had people shout things from cars at me, call me fat as I walk past them on the street, make BOOM BOOM noises as my feet walk on the path. The world is full of these charmers, I can only control myself, my thoughts, my actions not others.