Another day

They say the first day is the hardest... if that’s the case then I am glad that it is behind me. Yesterday I ended up eating a lot less than I intended, I think out of fear that I would just eat everything.... I was so hungry. After a think about how I was planning to proceed, what the structure of my eating plan was going to be and how I was to track it in a manageable way, I decided to join back up to WW (Weight Watchers) again, this time on line. I think that the meetings influence me in a way that I don’t find helpful; I tend to base my success or failure on others around me. Being back at WW is a good thing as I know the system, it is really flexible for any situation, I can convert recipes into healthier versions via the online tools, and I can cook for the whole family rather than just me.
Its quite outrageous when I look back at all the different systems for weight loss that I have used so far and the money spent on it; I tried throwing it all back up as a teenager till someone said that it hurts your teeth and I stopped, I have been to dieticians, nutritionists, Sureslim, a few different shake diets, numerous different crash diets, and this is the 6th time I have gone back to WW. All of which work just fine, there is something mentally that I do when I see that I am succeeding that I switch it back to self sabotage mode. This needs to be one of my focal points to push past the negative behaviors.
So.... I guess I can’t change the past, only the future.

One thing that I did notice last night was that when the highly stressful feeding time at the zoo came about (dinner time with the twins), and the kids were throwing food, utensils and screams around the room, all I could think about was chocolate. Kind of like when I was a smoker I had thought at the time that a cigarette would help any situation... clearly not a logical thought at all. I do feel like I need to break the addiction just like I did with smoking.

Today is going to be an easier day :)